Welcome to the 10th grade blog! This is an online space where you'll be able to initiate discussions and post written work as well as give and receive feedback on these efforts. My hope is that we use the blog to push out thinking forward and improve our writing through the help of our class community.
For Thursday, please post the 1st draft of your thesis as a comment to this post. You must post a comment by 5 pm on Wednesday evening so that we have enough time to give you feedback. Please make sure that you not only post your thesis, but also that you respond/give feedback to at least one other classmate by replying to their comment. I will be checking for both. Please give both warm and cool feedback (a strength and something to work on.)
Reminders about thesis statements:
Thesis: Non-debatable observation about a similarity or difference
in how the authors of the two
texts use literary tools + Argument about that similarity or difference, that
addresses the broader message that you think the authors are trying to send
(about society/the world, NOT about the texts).
Basic structure: In both _____ and ____ the authors create _____ (specific
characters, symbols, conflicts) in order to demonstrate____. (something about
human nature/the world).
Example: In both
the novel 1984 and the short story, “The Lottery,” George Orwell and Shirley Jackson
create characters willing to sacrifice and betray others without regret. This
proves Orwell’s assertion that humans lose ability to care for others when
their lives become endangered, because humans have a natural, animalistic
instinct for survival.
Thesis Checklist (for you to check your work, as well as for you to peer edit others):
- Authors/titles?
- Is it clear and concise? (Can be two clear, concise sentences, if need be.)
- What are you analyzing? (What literary device/element?)
- What are you arguing? (What are you saying about the world?)
- Is there a roadmap? (Can we see where you are going with this essay?)
- So What? Why is your argument significant? Is it complex?
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In both the short stories Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carol Oates and Everyday Use by Alice Walker the authors create the charaters of Connie and Dee to show this search for identity. They demonstrate how people who search for their identity often take different options and paths to find what they want and who they are.
ReplyDelete- Michelle Rodriguez
I really like your idea of search for independence, it's interesting! However, you should definitely elaborate on "different opinions and paths" I am not sure on what you're talking about, try to make it more clear. Other than that, your thesis is clear!
DeleteThis is a really good start, Michelle. (And way to go, being the first one to post your thesis!) First off, make sure you use quotations when referencing the short stories. I'm not sure you need to name the characters in your thesis, but rather elaborate on their search for identities, and other points of comparison between the two characters. Great job targeting two good characters to compare, though. In terms of your analysis/second sentence: "different options" is too vague, I think. What do Connie and Dee both do in their search for identity? Why do they do these things, and why might people in the world do this too? Be as specific as possible.
ReplyDeleteIn both short stories, Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carrol Oats and Everyday Use by Alice Walker the author’s use a struggling relationship between mother and daughter to illustrate the vacancy and vanity in both daughters.
ReplyDeletelove this idea, the mother daughter relationship has a lot of depth and should be interesting to write about!
Deletethe use of the world 'struggling' is a little vague, might want to try something like tense or labored?
great job!
the mother daughter relationship is a great subject to touch on, but when you say the vancacy....in both daughters, are you talking about the characters? bring this idea to the outside world!
DeleteI agree with Alyssa and Jesse AND, please think about:
Delete- Quotation marks!
- *authors
- Think about your "So What!" So what if the daughters are vacant and vain?
In both "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" by Joyce Carol Oates and "Araby" by James Joyce, the authors create parallelism between the characters of Connie and the boy in order to suggest that their unrefined views of love are not only common and immature, but are also acknowledged by the characters and forced never the less.
ReplyDeleteAlyssa, i really like your thesis. Its worded very nicely and you do a good job of connecting the two stories together. However, i would try to connect it a little more to the outside world, what do their views on love say about the rest world?
DeleteI agree with Jake, maybe you should connect the world to world part of the thesis to teenagers or something and say that what we portray love to be is something out of the movies, tv or books.
DeleteGreat job! I agree with Jake and Nia.
DeletePerhaps...
- Describe these characters parallel qualities a bit more-- can you be more specific about their similarities?
- What does this say about human nature? About the coming of age process? Your last line is a bit unclear...
In both "Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway and "Araby" by James Joyce the authors create a point of view that is extremely distant from the character's emotions. Hemingway and Joyce do this in order to reflect their belief that it is difficult for human beings to understand themselves.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
DeleteA couple of things...
-- **characters
-- Try to get at your "so what" a bit more. Try adding a "because.." to your last line. Why is it difficult for human beings to understand themselves? In what contexts is this the case??
In both stories "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carrol Oats and "Everyday Use" by Alice Walker, both authors use parent to child relationship to show the reader how important it is for a child to gain support from their family.
ReplyDeleteJ.C, I really like your thesis because not only is it specific and will be interesting to write an essay about, but your thesis clearly connects both stories to the outside world to create a bigger picture/message.
DeleteGood start!
DeleteThink about:
-- What about the parent child relationship?? Be more specific...
-- Why is it important to get support from your family, and how do these stories tell us this?
In both "Araby" by James Joyce and "A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez both authors use the ideas of religion and freedom to show that religious freedom and freedom are not the same thing, however both still are able to block the reality in some situations.
ReplyDeleteArianna Rizzi
Hey Arianna,
DeleteI really like your thesis, especially how you compare religious freedom vs. freedom itself. It seems like an interesting topic and very well thought out! I just feel a little confused on what you mean by "reality." What exactly is it trying to block, it just seems a little vague and not clear enough and I think that you should try and focus in on one thing, maybe a certain aspect on reality itself?
I agree with Jaad. You should explain or go into more depth about what you mean about 'reality' what about it exactly. Tie it more to the outside world. Either than that I really like the theme you chose and it goes with both short stories you chose so well done in that (: .
Delete- Michelle Rodriguez
Good start!
DeleteHowever...
-- Your observation about the text can't be the idea of religion and freedom...it has to be some technique or device. What characters, conflicts, settings, or symbols tell you that the authors are dealing with these issues? I think this will help clarify the argument.
In both "Hills Like White Elephants" and "A Very Old Man With Enourmous Wings" the authors demonstrate the exploitation of the characters in order to demonstrate that when one's voice is pushed out, it makes it hard to stick up for themselves
ReplyDeleteGood job!
DeleteA couple of things to consider:
- The authors create who or what situation that reveals this exploitation?
- Also, so what if people can't stick up for themselves? Push your "So What" a bit further by adding a "because" to your last line. What is at the root of this silence? Who wins and why?
In both "Where are you Going, Where Have you Been," by Joyce Carrol Oates, and "Araby," by James Joyce, the authors create an inner conflict within each of the main characters regarding their perception of what love should be. Oates and Joyce do this in order to demonstrate how most human beings try to idealize something that they are unfamilar with or just beginning to understand.
ReplyDeleteJaad, i think you have a really good idea, i just think that in the end you should chose between something unfamiliar and something someone is beginning to understand. To me, beginning to understand it where everything becomes clear, and i think that there are few connections between the two.
DeleteGreat job!
DeletePerhaps work on:
-- Clarifying your first sentence: Instead of "regarding," try: "the authors develop naive characters..."
-- Why do human beings idealize the unfamiliar?
In both stories, "Araby" by James Joyce, and "Where are you Going, Where Have you been" by Joyce Carrol Oates, the authors create the protagonists Connie and the boy dependent on their “classification” of love, which ultimately leads both characters devastated. Joyce and Oates do this to reveal how often times humans tend to idealize and worship love just to feel accepted in society.
ReplyDeleteMahwish, i really like your thesis. You did a good job of connecting the stories to bigger ideas in the world. However, i was kind of confused on the word dependent and classification. Why is their classification different, what makes it that way? Also, i dont think worship is the best word to use in the last sentence, rather something like follow, want, need, etc.
DeleteGood job!
DeleteI agree with Jake! (Good job, Jake)
I'm not sure I see your argument-- does your evidence tell you that both characters are motivated by social pressure?
In both Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carol Oates and Araby by James Joyce, the authors create Connie and the boy in order to demonstrate their disappointing path to their loss of innocence. They display that for many, the loss of innocence isn’t an exciting step in ones life, rather a very disappointing and misleading realization.
ReplyDeleteI like this thesis a lot, you do a great job of making a strong argument while connecting your point to the outside world. The only thing I would comment about is just use more specific words than "many" and "ones" in that final sentence.
DeleteHey Jake, this is a really great idea for a thesis! I like the the idea a lot of having a loss of innocence be disappointing, and that up till that point they have been misled. I think you should say 'the authors create the characters of Connie and the boy". Great otherwise!
DeleteGreat job!
Delete- Quotation marks for stories
- Clarify your description of the two characters' similarities
- Excellent argument-- perhaps push the "why" question. Why is this the case?
In both Everyday Use by Alice Walker and Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? by Joyce Carol Oates, use self-centered and vain characters who have complicated mother/daughter relationships to demonstrate how envy and insecurity can often be the cause of these problems. Mostly because daughters do not want to follow the same footsteps as their mother, they want to surpass and achieve what their mothers could not.
ReplyDeleteJharasy,
DeleteI like your thesis- I think your points are solid, and your connection to the outside world is good. The last sentence kind of threw me off though, so maybe you can try to revise your thesis in order to make it sound more concise and clear.
Great job!
DeleteThink about:
- Quotations marks
- What is your argument saying about insecurity? I like this point-- it really gets at the root of their conflict, but I'm not sure which direction you're taking this: the insecurity/envy argument, or the argument about daughters wanting to surpass their mothers? What is really going on in these stories, and how do you know?
In both "Where are you going, where have you been?" by Joyce Carol Oates and, and "Everyday Use," by Alice Walker, the authors illustrate bad mother-daughter relationships in order to demonstrate a loss of innocence in the main character and how it changes them as they grow up.
ReplyDeleteGreat observation in both of the storie! But make sure in your essay that you could connect this to the real world. Also, read aloud your thesis to make sure if you wrote any words twice. Great start
Deletestories*
DeleteGood job!
DeleteThink about:
- Capitalize titles
- Authors: "create or develop"-- they DO something that "illustrates" something else...
- Try to think about another word for "bad"
- What are your arguing? I think you need to get a little more specific...
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ReplyDeleteIn both "Everyday Use" and "Where are you going, Where have you been?", the authors create two characters who stuggle with their identies to illustrate a person's search for identity differs from another person's.
ReplyDeleteGabriella, I really like your thesis! I totally agree with you on how the two characters in both the stories you chose struggle with their identities. Although, I think you need to work on your universal comparison to the world because it seems a bit to specific and not to the world in general. Also, I think you could really expand on that part because your idea is great and you could say a lot about it! Great thesis!
Delete-Fiona York
Gaby-- Great start! I love your topic!
DeleteBut...
- Include authors names
- What are they struggling with in terms of their identities?
- So what if one's search for identity differs?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn both Everyday Use by Alice Walker and Hills like White Elephants by Ernest Hemingway, the authors create the idea of miscommunication as a reccuring theme. In order to demonstrate the underlying struggles in the characters relationship, causing an external conflict.
ReplyDeleteI like your ideas and the the thought process behind them, however, I feel like some grammar may need tweaking, which is insignificant. Maybe if you can find a way to shorten it slightly by connecting the sentences, but not creating a run-on would make the thesis even better. Nice.
DeleteGreat job!
Delete- Quotations marks for titles...
- Authors don't create the "idea" of miscommunication...they DO something to show this idea. They create, develop, juxtapose, etc...
- What do you want to say about the characters' relationships?
In both "Araby" by James Joyce and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" by Joyce Carol Oates the authors create main characters trying to reach and ideal state of mind/being/image in order to reveal that society causes people to think they have to be a certain way to fit in.
ReplyDeletefiona, i like ur thesis. its strong and it's pretty clear but i think it that if you expand the idea of what the society whats people to be and things they use to try to expand this idea (ex. media, consumerism, etc.) it would be better. goodluck!
DeleteJoyce-- "your" not "ur"! :)
DeleteFiona: Great job! A couple of things:
-"the ideal state of mind/being/image/ is too vague. What is the similarity you would like to explore between these two characters?
- Why do people succumb to what society tells them??
In both "Araby" and "Where are you going, where have you been?" by James Joyce and Joyce Carol Oates, both use idealized love vs. reality of love through both the protagonist Connie and the boy as they struggle through it. The authors use love as a way to demonstrate how people or children are living in a fantasy about how they think love should be.
ReplyDeleteNia-- Good job! You're off to a good start.
DeleteA couple of things...
- Capitalize title
- Authors can't "use idealized love vs. reality of love." They create something or develop something. What tells you that the author is dealing with this big idea? A character? A conflict?
- Push your "so what' a little further-- why do people create a fantasy about love, and what is the harm in this?
Gabriella, I really like your thesis! I totally agree with you on how the two characters in both the stories you chose struggle with their identities. Although, I think you need to work on your universal comparison to the world because it seems a bit to specific and not to the world in general. Also, I think you could really expand on that part because your idea is great and you could say a lot about it! Great thesis!
ReplyDelete-Fiona York
In "Araby" by James Joyce and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" by Joyce Carol Oates, the authors use Connie and the boy to depict the mindset of the basic teenagers idea of love and how they are affected when facing the reality of what they perceived as being "true love".
ReplyDeletePaola great thesis and the idea of true love is good idea. I think you shouldn't use connie and the boy in your thesis and i find the thesis a bit repetitive, but overall Good Job!
DeletePaola-- Good job! You have a great topic here.
DeleteA couple of things:
- What is similar about Connie and the boy?
- Be specific about how they are affected and how this is true for many people in the world.
In both "Everyday Use" by Alice Walker and "Hills like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway, the authors uses the lack communication between characters in order demonstrate the unstable relationship that they have that results in disagreement.
ReplyDeleteSimren the beginning of your statement is solid but you are missing the "so what".
DeleteSimren-- Good start!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Perhaps discuss the similarities in the conflicts as opposed to the "lack of communication"
- I agree with JJ-- I'm not sure what you're arguing here, and I'm not sure about the "so what." What do you want to say about these relationships? What does this say about relationships or communication in general?
In "Everyday Use" by Alice Walker, and "A very old man with enormous wings" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, the authors use the roles of Maggie, a disturbed child, and the Angel, who is rendered unable to communicate, to symbolize those whose voices go unheard.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea Jack, just make sure you have concrete evidence to back it up.
DeleteGood start, Jack!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Capitalize titles
- Discuss how Maggie and the Angel are similar
- So what if their voices go unheard? Why did these authors create silenced characters? What is the function for the story?
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ReplyDeleteIn both "Araby" and "Where Have You Going?, Where Have You Been?" the author portrays characters as teenagers, who fall into a war of emotions and conflicts as they lose there innocence. This shows the effects of children coming of age into a world that they aren't quite ready for.
ReplyDeleteGreat start, Keosha!
Delete- Include names of authors
- Perhaps be more specific about the similarities between these characters
- What ARE the effects of coming of age when you're not ready for it? State this in your thesis.
Two ever-present themes in both ''Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?'' by Joyce Carrol Oats and ''Everyday Use'' by Alice Walker are coming of age and indefinite love towards mothers; these themes are used to illustrate the concept of now matter how old someone is they will always love their mother.
ReplyDelete-Wes Knoll
I think your ideas are strong, the only thing I would say would be that you use the idea of coming of age but then it is not really connected back to the end of your thesis. If you can connect coming of age and the love for their mothers together I think it could be stronger.
DeleteWes-- I like where this is going.
DeleteHowever, I would avoid stating the theme in the essay, and rather get more specific about what the authors are DOING to illustrate your argument.
In both Everyday Use by Alice Walker and A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings by Garbiel Garcia Marquez the authors create characters with deep expectations in order to demonstrate that the society in which people live in molds how the people in this society think.
ReplyDeleteMarcus-- You're off to a good start!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Quotation marks for stories
- Deep expectations of what?
- Society molds our perception of the world is a great argument, but let's get more specific. How is this the case? Why is this the case?
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ReplyDelete