Welcome to the 10th grade blog! This
is an online space where you'll be able to initiate discussions and
post written work as well as give and receive feedback on these efforts.
My hope is that we use the blog to push out thinking forward and
improve our writing through the help of our class community.
For Thursday, please post the 1st draft of your thesis as a comment to this post. You must post a comment by 5 pm on Wednesday evening so that we have enough time to give you feedback. Please
make sure that you not only post your thesis, but also that you
respond/give feedback to at least one other classmate by replying to
their comment. I will be checking for both. Please give both warm and cool feedback (a strength and something to work on.)
Reminders about thesis statements:
Thesis: Non-debatable observation about a similarity or difference
in how the authors of the two
texts use literary tools + Argument about that similarity or difference, that
addresses the broader message that you think the authors are trying to send
(about society/the world, NOT about the texts).
Basic structure: In both _____ and ____ the authors create _____ (specific
characters, symbols, conflicts) in order to demonstrate____. (something about
human nature/the world).
Example: In both
the novel 1984 and the short story, “The Lottery,” George Orwell and Shirley Jackson
create characters willing to sacrifice and betray others without regret. This
proves Orwell’s assertion that humans lose ability to care for others when
their lives become endangered, because humans have a natural, animalistic
instinct for survival.
Thesis Checklist (for you to check your work, as well as for you to peer edit others):
- Authors/titles?
- Is it clear and concise? (Can be two clear, concise sentences, if need be.)
- What are you analyzing? (What literary device/element?)
- What are you arguing? (What are you saying about the world?)
- Is there a roadmap? (Can we see where you are going with this essay?)
- So What? Why is your argument significant? Is it complex?
In both "Araby" and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?", James Joyce and Joyce Carol Oates create characters who have a false idea of what love is like. This demonstrates how young people often make mistakes because of false assumptions.
ReplyDeleteThat was real good and I jus think you can connect more in the second sentence by addin--of their peers or of the public and unspoken ppl
Delete-Nik J
Aleeza this is a great thesis and idea just be a bit more specific like where do they get these false assumptions? But besides that this is gonna be a strong essay.
DeleteAleeza-- Great start!
DeleteA couple of things to consider:
- Place author names next to their respective stories
- Good comparison of characters
- I think you need to work on the "so what" aspect of your argument-- so what if young people make mistakes? Also, what mistake did the boy make in "Araby"?
In both "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?, the authors create silence amongst Connie and Maggie in order to demonstrate the uncontrolable power of your elders.
ReplyDeleteNik J
Just saying you didn't write the title of Everyday Use, but I think you should form it differently. To be honest I didn't really understand it, but I'm guessing you have evidence to back it up, but you need to answer a what, so instead of saying "to demonstrate the uncontrollable power of your elders" you may consider, "to demonstrate elders have an uncontrollable power". I'm not sure what your trying to say, but it sounds cool, just needs to be clear. G'job
DeleteYou are off to a good start. I understand where you are coming from. Add the authors author's name's. Also clearify and embelish apon it a bit more. But otherwise I like your idea.
Delete-Marcello Brattesani
I think you have a great theme picking the silence between the two characters. But what i think is missing in this thesis is that you're not being specific enough with what you're really trying to prove here. I agree with Teddy's comment, I didn't quite understand it. But if you really expand on what you're trying to prove here, it'll be great.
DeleteTeddy is right-- you need both titles and authors. This is a good start-- compare Connie and Maggie. What does Connie's silence do? Why is she silent? What about Maggie? I'm not sure it's saying something about elders, but rather who has power and what they do with that power.
DeleteIn both "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" and "Araby", the author creates a catharsis for the characters in order to demonstrate harsh experiences of reality may be what you need to learn a lesson.
ReplyDeleteI think the idea that a catharsis is needed to "learn a lesson" is good, and I totally agree with what you are arguing. I would suggest that you specify what the lesson they are learning is, like if they are learning about adulthood or something else, just so you can make your argument a little more clear.
Delete-Owen Langrehr
In both Araby and Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?, the authors James Joyce and Joyce Carol Oates create young naive characters who are easily swayed by societies idealization of love. Their fall from this 'love high' proves the authors message that media and society create a false view of love because of mans hope for a greater purpose.
ReplyDelete-Eve Grassfield
DeleteEve-- great job!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Quotation marks for short stories!
- "society's"
- Where in "Araby" is society idealizing love?
- Your argument is interesting-- so you are suggesting that both Connie and the boy hope for a greater purpose than the reality that is before them? Cool!
In both "A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings" and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Joyce Carol Oates use the naivety of the townspeople and Connie, respectively, to show how society's expectations of abstract things will tend to lead to frustration, confusion, and pain.
ReplyDelete-Owen Langrehr
I really like your thesis. I can see the "so what?" only thing I would suggest, and I can be wrong, I feel it is a little straight forward with the list toward what you are going to write in each body paragraph. I would try putting it into a different structure, but great theme and opinion!
DeleteIn both the short stories "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been" and "Hills Like White Elephants" both authors show how social normalities effect the actions of the female gender, due to our human tendances to fear the opinions of society.
ReplyDeleteI really like your thesis because you have two really important topics in it, social norms and gender roles. you also picked stories that will have great evidence for both of these topics. The only thing i would change would be to make the last line a little more clear and concise, oh and name the authors!
DeleteJake-- great job!
Delete- Include author names (I agree with Ella!)
- "social normalities" is a little confusing...Do you mean that female characters are influenced by social norms/expectations? Or are you suggesting that they make poor decisions based on these social norms?
In both "Araby" and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” James Joyce and Joyce Carol Oates compare how society believes in idealized perfect love when the reality of love is completely different and disappointing.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your thesis, it is concise and too the point. I guess the thing that I am wondering is if there is more that you can say about this. I understand that both stories brought idealized love as a concept but I think that the so-what aspect could be a bit more drawn out. Good job!
DeleteSydney-- Great job! I agree with Audrey. A couple of things to consider:
Delete- Author names go next to their stories
- What devise or choice is the author making to get at this idea? Your argument is great, but you need to focus on a particular element to analyze!
In both "A very old man with enormous wings" and "everyday use" the authors create silenced characters in order to demostrate the social norm.
ReplyDelete-Marcello Brattesani
I think you are off to a good start and you have a good idea for your essay. But, I think you should add the authors names and also how social norms demonstrate the silenced characters in the stories. If you do that then I think you'll have a great thesis!
DeleteI agree with Emma. Your thesis sounds great but you're missing a "So What?" in it. Try to add a "because" or "this show that..." etc. Other than that, your thesis sounds like a good lead into your essay.
DeleteMarcello: Great start. A couple of things:
Delete- Capitalize titles and include author names!
- I agree with Emma and Michaella-- you need an argument here. What are you suggesting about the influence of society's norms?
In both "Hills Like White Elephants" and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Oates, and Hemingway create dialogue in order to demonstrate the tension between men and women, and the concept of superiority between the two of them. -Audrey Bachman
ReplyDeletei think this is a good thesis and it has a clear direction and opinion. I think these two short stories deal with the topic of men and women. The topic of power struggles between gender is prominent in each story. However, the use of the word "dialogue" seems a bit vague to me and i think you could take a more specific approach to what the authors use.
Delete-Declan Moy Bishow
Audrey-- You're off to a great start here. I love that you're focusing on dialogue to get at the male/female power dynamic. Let's work on describing this dialogue a bit more. Also, what is your argument? If men feel superior to women in these stories, so what? What does this say about the gender power dynamic in the world, and why do men get away with it? :)
DeleteI agree with Declan about his comment on dialogue!
DeleteIn both "An Old with Enormous Wings" and "Where are you Going, Where have you Been?" Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Joyce Carol Oates use the manipulative power of conformity to show that the wants and values of society outweigh individual morality.
ReplyDelete- Declan Moy Bishow
I think Declan's thesis is very good. It gets straight to the point and is clear. However the phrase "individual mortality" could maybe be simplified to something more understandable, but overall I think it's a really good thesis statement!
Delete-Lily Cook
Declan- Great start!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Capitalize your titles and place author names next to titles
- What choice are the authors making in terms of symbolism, characterization, etc that reveals this idea about conformity?
- Perhaps: Individual morality is often compromised by the power of social influences/norms?
In both "Everyday Use" and "Where are you Going, Where have you Been?" Alice Walker and Joyce Carol Oates create mother/daughter relationships in order to demonstrate that family dynamics are not always picture perfect because of jealously and the unwillingness to understand one another.
ReplyDeleteYour thesis is great! Just make sure to expand upon/answer the 'so what' part somewhere in it and your thesis will be even better.
DeleteEmma-- Great start!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Capitalize your titles
- Describe the mother/daughter relationships a bit more
- I agree with Mykala (good work Mykala!). What is the consequence of this inability to understand one another?
ReplyDeleteIn both "Araby" by James Joyce and "Where are You Going, Where Have You Been?" by Joyce Carol Oates, the authors create characters that focus on the superficial aspects of life. The characters stories show how naivety and shallowness of perception can prevent one from understanding the truth, as there is more to life then what is on the surface.
-Ruby!
I think that your thesis is really good! I enjoyed it a lot! Plus, it is straight to the point and clear. I don't necessarily think anything about it should be changed, but, if I HAD to change something I would rewrite the last line. Like, what do you mean by shallowness of perception?
DeleteRuby! Great start. A couple of things:
Delete- I agree with Lupe-- this is great. I would work on tightening up your language, though. See if you can keep the power of your thesis but say it with fewer words.
- Also-- explore the "so what" a bit more. Why do human beings succumb to superficiality?
In both "Everyday Use" and "WHere are you going, Where have you been?" the authors create mother/daughter conflicts as the result of growing up, to demonstrate how teenage girls feel animosity when they see themselves in their mothers while trying to figure out their place in society.
ReplyDelete-Lily Cook
lily this really good maybe separate the so what from the rest of your thesis so there clearly different thoughts.
DeleteLily-- Great start! I love where you're going with this.
DeleteA couple of things:
- Name the authors
- Describe the mother/daughter conflict a bit more specifically
- Also- why is it significant that girls see themselves in their mothers while trying to figure out their place in society? Explore this inner conflict a bit more.
In both "A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings" and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Joyce Carol Oates create characters that are faced with being entrapped both physically and mentally in order to demonstrate how being your true self isn't always easy.
ReplyDeleteI like that your thesis is very straight-foward and clear, however I would elaborate more on the "so what" part- maybe include the aspects that make being yourself difficult
DeleteMykala-- I love your idea here. I love that you're discussing mental and physical entrapment. However, we need to work on your argument here. Why does this entrapment suggest that it's hard to be true to yourself? Isn't the old man true to himself??
DeleteIn both "Every Day Use" by Alice Walker and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" by Joyce Carol Oates, Mama and Connie shape themselves in order to demonstrate how media molds a stereotype of what is acceptable in today's society.
ReplyDeleteI really like how your thesis! very clear and straight to the point! The only thign that confused me about ti was the line "Mama and Connie shape themselves in order to demonstrate..". I might be misunderstanding things/wrong, but I'd suggest saying the authors shaped the characters in a certain way to demonstrate medias affects on society rather than saying the characters shape themselves to show it. But its really good!!
DeleteElla-- great idea here. Perhaps establish Mama and Connie as two protagonists who are heavily influenced by the media and what others think of them. Then, discuss why this is a problem, and what is significant about giving in to social conformity and what other people think...
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteIn both short stories "Hills Like White Elephants" and "A Man With Enormous Wings" Gabriel Marquez and Ernest Hemingway create characters who tend to only follow what fits into society's status quo. This reveals that humans push away what we view as "different" because we are afraid of the unknown.
ReplyDeleteI really like your thesis and I find it true and relevant to both stories, however I think you could be more specific about what society's status quo is, and maybe why we are afraid of the unknown
DeleteAna-- I agree with Cezar. Perhaps clarify your explanation of these characters and what the status quo is, and then that will clear up how we push away "difference" because it is unknown.
DeleteIn both "A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings" and "Where are you going where have you been?" the authors create characters that demonstrate how immense societies influence is on people. They use their stories to reflect
ReplyDeletethe immense pressure to conform to social norms in everyday life.
-Kate Macrae
Kate-- Great start!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Capitalize titles and name authors
- Describe the characters-- "Characters who care deeply about fitting in to social norms" or something like that
- Once you establish who you're analyzing, then you can clearly state your argument.
In both "Araby" and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?", James Joyce and Joyce Carol create characters who are both growing up into adulthood. It is inevitable that coming of age results in a negative, but yet strong outcome, because humans have a basic instinct to try to become someone that is approved in society, rather than just be themselves.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your thesis idea. I think the last sentence is really good because it conveys a strong message that is relevant to today. Something think you should work on is the phrasing of some of the sentences. for example maybe instead of saying "...are both growing into adulthood" you could say: transitioning from childhood to adulthood. but I think its really good!!
Delete-Bea
Lupe-- Great job!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Joyce Carol Oates!
- Describe the characters' coming of age process a bit more
- Great argument! I think if you clear up what you're analyzing, the argument will make even more sense!
In both "Araby" and "Where are you going, where have you been?", James Joyce and Joyce Carol Oates create characters to demonstrate coming of age and loss of innocence. This shows that all people must go through this phase in life because it is a part of growing up.
ReplyDeleteMichaella-- Great start. I like where you're going with this essay. However,
Delete- Author names should be next to their respective titles
- Get more specific about the similarities between the characters-- how might you describe their characterization?
- Try to clarify your argument-- So what if all people must grow up. What is the growing up experience like for these characters and what might this suggest about the growing up process for all humans?
In both "Hills Like White Elephants" and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Ernest Hemingway and Joyce Carol Oates create characters who are forced to make incommodious decisions in order to prove how we are all forced to submit in one way or another.
ReplyDeleteCezar-- Great job!
DeleteA couple of things:
- I think "incommodious" might be an understatement here. Both of these decisions are more than just a little inconvenient-- they are life changing! Also, if you are going to compare characters, you need to do so on the basis of how they are characterized.
- What is specific about their submission? What kind of people must submit? All of us? Or just certain people? Use the text to guide your argument.
In both "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" and "Everyday Use" Joyce Carol Oates and Alice Walker create conflict between mother and daughter relationships to demonstrate the imperfect result of confusion towards society.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a really good start to a good essay, but it gets a little confusing at the end when you say "imperfect result of confusion." Is there really any "perfect" result of confusion? Try to expand on it so the reader can better understand what your saying. Anyway, if you can clarify that, your essay will be great!
DeleteMarta-- you're F-band!!
DeleteI love that you're focusing on the mother/daughter conflict. However, I think we need to clarify your argument. What is the root of these conflicts? What does this suggest about mother/daughter relationships in general?
Also-- I agree with Isaiah. Good job, Isaiah!
DeleteIn both "Araby" by James Joyce and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" by Joyce Carol Oates, the authors create characters that represent the path of growing up and the freedom that comes with it. The characters show us that there is an urgency to grow up, but when it finally hits them its acts as a rude awakening.
ReplyDeleteSamantha-- great start!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Characters who represent suggests that these characters symbolize growing up/freedom-- is this what you want to say? How else might you describe their characterization?
- What does this experience of having a "rude awakening" do to the characters? Why does it have this effect on them, and why might this be the case for human beings, in general?
In both "Araby,and "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"Both authors create characters that are both coming of age,and they must confront many things.This shows that coming of age is difficult,because there are many obstacles to face to reach adulthood.
ReplyDeleteDiana-- good job!
DeleteA couple of things:
- lower case for "both"
- Include author names next to titles
- What must both character confront-- be specific!
- So what if there are many obstacles to face when we come of age? What is this process like for the characters in these stories, and why might this be the case across the board, for all human beings?
In both "Everyday Use" and "Where Are You Going Where, Where have You Been?" Joyce Carol Oates and Alice Walker create characters who have been highly influenced by the media and social norms in order to demonstrate the human need to be accepted.
ReplyDelete- Isaiah Nardone
Sorry I was late :(
Hey, Stupendous! Can you use your real name next time, please?!
DeleteIsaiah-- Great job! I love your topic-- this is going to be a great essay.
DeleteA couple of things:
- Place author names next to their respective works
- I love your description of the characters influenced by social norms and media
- However, I think you can explore the connection between media and the human need to be accepted. Why is this the case? How does media play a role in shaping social norms?
In both "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" and "Hills Like White Elephants"the authors create characters influenced by the view of an ideal woman in society. This shows how threatening this view of the desirable, societally correct woman can be, and the difficulty of breaking out of the conformity of society for ones own individual needs.
ReplyDeleteRosie: Great start!!
DeleteA couple of things:
- Include author names
- You don't need "in society," I don't think. It's implied.
- I love your argument, but I think you can tighten the language a bit, and discuss why it's so difficult to break out, and where this perception comes from...
In both “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” and “Araby”, Joyce Carol Oates and James Joyce create idealized views of love in order to reveal how clueless humans can be of the realities. People should open their eyes and face the truth, so that they would not have to be unaware, or even hurt, by reality.
ReplyDeleteXingduo-- Good start! A couple of things:
Delete- Place the authors names next to the names of their respective works
- Authors don't "create" idealized views...they create characters who have these views.
- Try rephrasing your argument about seeing reality as less of a moral, or a lesson, and more of an argument about why people tend to shy away from reality.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn both "Where are you going, Where have you been?" by Joyce Carol Oates and "A very old man with enormous wings " by Gabriel Garcia Marquez the authors creates a character or refer to a mass crowd to demonstrate conformity. This mass crowd represents the rest of the world and shows both authors views on the blind conformity of society.
ReplyDelete- Bea Mandel